on 'rediscovering' (1)

The hollowness of the planet I consider to be my habitat bewilders me at every possible occasion with the holocaustic imagery of existential crisis that we all are subjected to every moment by the people around us... not knowing they themselves are the objects of similar 'justifications'. The mercy of acceptance and tolerance that we so lavishly shower upon our co-human beings... thinking we are doing a great moral job... is actually the biggest injustice and an idiosyncretistic device of self amusement that we so deliberately impose upon them... not understanding, that development, at various levels, is just a synonym for displacement... and displacement is the worst curse that we can make somebody suffer from. What's weird... in this whole process is that we share this 'White man's burden' with great pride and honour... becoming the decission makers for others, deciding what's good for them, what's bad for them... as if they do not have their own selves... they are mere objects of our experimental fervors, and what's more painfull is that we start calling ourselves their friends... (sometimes even their mentors, a greater level of self amusement)and find it completely useless to speak to them about what we really think of them... as if, it (really) doesn't matter at all!

And then, all this is interspersed with a sweet n sour curry of emotions/good times/bad times/ long chats etc. leading to the blackhole of hollowness that I've talked about above. Interestingly, whatever we say to underline our dissociation with the given concept... we all fall prey to it... one way or the other. The question here is not of the victim and the victimiser but of the sensitivities that are involved and unfortunately played with in the whole course of this 'experiment'! There are these thick walls of distances between human souls, thicker than our skin, our bones and all the flesh in our body. Impregnable....walls, which are equally sensitive. All relationships, I think, are a quest of touching the surface of these walls (atleast, as touching a human soul seems a mirage to me), but a little bit of insenitivity can scratch the surface to a level, where it can renounce any human contact... forever... (to be contd.)